Rainforest and patience, or the lack thereof

Been awhile since I’ve updated, and I’ve been very busy in the meantime.

I attended Rainforest Writing Retreat not that long ago. It’s up in Washington state’s Lake Quinault rainforest and it’s lovely —

IMG_20150221_111154 (1) See? :D

But I didn’t have much net while I was there, and I drove the whole way up (with Rachel Swirsky) and back and had to work a ton before that and a ton after that so I didn’t use too much vacation time, annnnnd, yeah. I’m pretty beat, and still catching up from that.

As pretty as the location was, and as awesome as the company, unfortunately I didn’t get a lot done while I was there. The book I’m working on right now is still in a liminal state, not a plunge-forward-and-crank-it place, which I get because I know how I work, but found frustrating because usually on retreats I get 30-40k of new material done, and I think I only managed 5k over the weekend.

But, I did a ton of important thinking — most of it in chatting with Rachel on the 13.5 hr car drive home on Sunday — and I think I’m ready to get rolling again.

Only…Fogcon is this upcoming weekend. I’ll be a pro at a writing workshop there, and I’ll also be on their ebola and other diseases panel, which I’m looking forward to, since I’m on my hospital’s ebola training team. Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to it, but I want to get some momentum going, and all this socializing is getting in the way, heh.

And to add to that — my beloved cat Desmo is getting sick. She’s got kidney problems. It’s not bad-bad yet, but it’s upsetting. I’ve had her for 14 yrs, she’s kept me sane more times than I can count, and anything I ever wrote that’s been worth a damn has been with her snuggled by my side. I know she’s had a good life, but I would greatly prefer it if she could just live forever.

Work’s been incredibly worky. I worked a 12 and then a 16 and I’ve signed up for a lot of extra shifts and doubles this month to get on top of vet bills and bill-bills, and that makes me anxious too — knowing that doing that is going to cut into my writing time as well :/.

And with all this travel and running around and being generally exhausted, I haven’t gone to yoga in two weeks which isn’t helping, either. (Today’s the day though. I’m typing this up at a coffee shop in between errands with my outfit on and am going at noon or else.)

I feel at loose ends in a hundred different ways, and it’s hard not to beat myself up about things — how much further I wish I were in this project, how much time I’ve ‘wasted’ (or am about to waste), etc etc etc. Fellow crazy people/authors, I’m sure you know the drill.

I just gotta take some deep breaths, realize that my book’ll still be waiting for me on the far side, and that everything’s going to be fine.

One more calming picture for the road:



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